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"For me, part of being female is being a mum.
Being a mum is being able to recognise the different cries. It's like our secret language that he uses in code to tell me what he wants when words fail. He uses them to help me as I struggle to mother him without words to guide me. The different tones and actions let me know how to help.
Being a mum is becoming a mechanic at 7 in the morning, fixing toy cars. He stares at me as if I can do anything. Changing these batteries to him makes me seem like I've had a degree in engineering. I fix toys all day. I do it over and over again. Each time he brings me them I know in 2 minutes he will break them again, I'll give him the same speech 'this is the last time, if you can't look after your toys you won't have them' he doesn't do it on purpose. He's learning his strength like a tiny hulk, these miniature figures are no match for this 4 year old.
It's the way he stares at me though, he has no idea I don't know the answers to his questions.
He doesn't know that if he continues to pull the wheels off Lightning Mcqueen, eventually I wont be able to force them back in. Those big brown eyes staring at me with hope and trust. Being a mum is finally having someone to blame your farts on. Although now he pipes up and says it wasn't him.
Being a mum is being exposed in a public bathroom because your child wont wait to unlock the door. Being a mum is going back to that same bathroom 5 minutes later because your child decided they did actually need a wee for them to just play with the hand dryer.
Being a mum is taking doughnuts into the toilet as that's the only place to eat in peace and if there's not enough to go round i aren't sharing! That kids had enough out of me, hes not having my doughnut as well."